Reader matter:

we came across a guy online who lives 500 miles away. He’s 34 and I also’m 53. He did let me know he had a female he dated “locally” hence he had been simply on the site in search of friends. 3 months afterwards we recognized we’ve thoughts each other.

At the same time, the guy nevertheless suggests he’s having issues together with girlfriend, who is not somebody he is “dating 20s vs 30s” in your area. He’s managing her in addition they’ve been together for four decades.

At long last decided we had to generally meet to see if this was worth pursuing. The guy provided me with the reason he failed to imagine it actually was directly to do it while he was still together. I finally gave him an ultimatum and told him i possibly couldn’t play next fiddle. The guy professed their really love but stated he was very confused.

Perform we give him ultimatum, its this lady or me? In the morning I wrong to inquire about him to manufacture that choice?

-Nancy (Fl)

Dr Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

Oh Nancy, Nancy, Nancy! You wrote if you ask me for honesty, right? Well, are you currently sitting down? Because right here arrives a honey container of truth.

You’re living in fantasy land, my personal dear girl. You’ve not actually met this individual which may be a guy and whom may or may not have a girlfriend.

We highly recommend the thing is that the documentary “Catfish” (available on iTunes and Netflix) about an internet love fraud.

But even though you you shouldn’t do that, let`s say for a moment he’s actually just who according to him they are and ignore the fact he started writing to you personally by sleeping about his commitment position.

Let’s simply consider the so-called realities.

A.) He’s nearly 2 decades younger than you.

B.) He’s in a life threatening connection.

C.) The guy told you right away he’s only trying end up being buddies.

And so I ask you, why are you willing to exposure the cardiovascular system on these an awful wager?

Issue shouldn’t be about giving him an ultimatum, but rather, in case you allow yourself the really love you deserve?

If so, then that isn’t the horse you need to ride inside sunset with. Work, girl!

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